so Batwoman is gay
I don’t mean that like I used
to say that Aquaman is gay
which was just my Jr. High way of
saying that being able to talk to fish
isn’t that great of a superpower
when I say Batwoman is gay
I mean that Batwoman is attracted
to other women
not other Batwomen
just other women in general
this apparently is a big deal
Bill O’Riley talked about it in his no Spin zone
Nancy Grace talked to two different experts about it
but the real kicker…
there was a protest today outside
the comic book shop I go to
(it’s right by a church)
I was mortified as I went in to get
my Saturday dose of
Green Arrow, The Walking Dead,
The Goon and Spider-Man
there were all these pissed off soccer moms
blocking the door
yelling at me like I was some
15 year old trying to get an abortion
rather than just some 30 year old
trying to get the only literary fix
my ADD brain can handle these days
I had 15 women with signs yelling
I mean passionately yelling
telling me that Batwoman is a bad role
model for their kids
okay, now I’m not going to point out the obvious
facts that there are people dying overseas and that
we’re all going to be washed away in thirty years
when the ice caps melt and that Batwoman’s
sexuality should be pretty damn low on people’s list of
shit that passionately pisses me off
what I am gong to point out is that
every single time the Incredible Hulk gets upset
he smashes everything and everyone around him
and that Superman, Wolverine, and Batman
can’t seem to resolve any conflict without punching
someone in the face
and that for some reason Wonder Woman can only fight
crime if she’s half naked
yet no one worries about
these super individuals’ effects on the children
no
they’re fine
because even if he has pummeled 14 or 15 bad guys
to death and maybe a few buildings in the process
the Hulk goes home to She-Hulk
who we’re worried about is Batwoman
look, I’m not trying to oversimplify this
and I get that there’s a lot of personal, spiritual,
religious, and emotional pieces that go into this
issue but look gang
I’ve never been to
but I’ve seen pictures and I think it’s a lot
like
there are people with nowhere to live,
kids getting beat by parents that should love them
and families on a near daily basis getting letters
that their son or daughter has died in a faraway desert
and if Batwoman at the end of the day
has someone, anyone, man or woman
that can hold her
love her
tell her that it’s all going to be okay
that it’s all worth fighting for
that we’re worth fighting for
I’m okay with that