I dreamt about you a lot
over the last five months
you’re name was Harper
and you had gold curly hair
and your mothers eyes
you laughed a lot and loved
Hello Kitty and sometimes
pulled our real cat’s tail
but we allowed it because he’s
de-clawed and your laugh made
it all worth it
your mom loved to dress you
in hats and dresses and bows
and there was a stack of comic books
that I had prepared for you in case you
were a boy that got forgotten under
dolls, and flowers, and a tidal wave of pink
(Jayme and I are educated enough to know
we shouldn’t gender code but we did anyway)
and Harper it was going to be great
a pink nursery with frills and ribbons
your mom and I had cleaned out Baby’s R Us
of both their sugar
and their spice
I was ready for you in these dreams
to protect you from the world
my little girl
to save you from all the stupid boys
them of puppy dog tail origins
I would spin you on the merry go round
faster and faster, the wind filled with laughter
you convinced no one in the world
could be stronger or faster than
dad
Harper, you were vanished in a sonic boom
we saw that you were not the person we thought you were
on that grainy, lo-res screen
my dreams had misled me
Jayme giggled and somewhere a snake bought a snail a beer
the comic book stack grows daily now
I find myself wondering where I would buy a baseball glove
and Spider-Man has regulated Hello Kitty to the garage
where she waits for you, forgotten, next to unopened bows & ribbons
autumn has come and in spring a blue hurricane will hit
Jayme and I enjoy the falling leaves, the calm before the storm
I pushed a merry-go-round today, just once
while walking the dog, watched it spin
I heard a dreamgirl laugh in the wind
Harper I truly hope to see you again